Contact: halloleftovers@googlemail.com



Thickos Modern Life

I can't get anything to work at the minute, all technolgy has failed me over the past week, losing the power of photoshop and resorting to editing in a crap program called Serif Draw which is like colouring in but someone has rubbed porridge in your eyes and hidden all your favourite pens in their arse.

Actually Serif might be alright, it just seems to be setup to confuse Adobe adopters, in fact the initial load-up splash screen is actually an illustration of a wonderfully drawn and coloured hand which is giving the finger to a PSD file.

I'm still pretty seething about how people are so jazzed about things like the Ipad - we should've had that 10 years ago, nowadays we should be painting with our fingertips on screen whilst simultaneously shouting at the computer "COMPUTER! Enhance this image x20, lighten the shadow on the serfs congregating to the right of the Christ-child and add a mild gradient of azure sun on His bare buttocks, immediately! Don't give me that loading bar shite this time." to which the computer would reply in a voice like Roadie or Wheels from Pole Position "Cer-Taint-ly Sir, You Lookin' real fine today!"

Even my simple ol' blog here refuses to play ball - I can't upload any pictures I want to show you. Perhaps you may have noticed the next part of 400 Facts ain't up, well that's bloody Blogger being a right old dick eyes isn't it? I dunno, it might have something to do with the shitty mobile broadband I'm using. Who knows at this point.

It does mean that when everythings fixed it will be update central round this gaff, there's lots to show off coming up...

Now hopefully this simple piece of text will shudder its way down my internet pipe and end up on your screen just so you can read an update which is effectively saying 'Nothing's Working'. I'm not even going to spellcheck this, that's how scunnered I am.