Shivering in my kitchen lit by the cool blue of the morning light in my cool blue denim nightgown and denim pants I'm reflecting on the dreams I had last night, I often do this as sometimes the dreams involve faded popstars Samantha Mumba and Louise Redknapp degrading themselves whilst Jayne Middlemiss presents it in the style of the OZone circa '96. For example.
Last night there was none of that malarkey, rather it was a series of vignettes taking place at various fictional social engagements, after each one came to its dramatic conclusion I would wake up, Scrooge-like, only to fall back to sleep again and enter another sticky situation (not that kind).
For example - one of the dreams I can recall clearly is that me and my dear poppa pops (father) are out on the razz, we're in a father-son three legless race to the bottom of the glass and have wound up in an old man boozer talking to two beautiful woman. It's all going very well indeed and it doesn't strike me as sickening to be out pulling ladies with your old man, but then disaster strikes as both ladies suddenly announce that they're gay but only when we're around and they'd like us to leave. And that's when I wake up, booted out of my own dream.
Later I dream of a lavish party, banners and streamers suffocate the room as if a serial killer made their lair in Birthdays. The place is packed full of people I have worked with past and present and its some kind of formal do - uh oh! I watch myself enter the room on the arms of two bouncers - oddly they're throwing me into the party instead of out of it but I try to make the best of it by chatting to people. Strangely the only response to my mega-chat is derision and scorn, but in the third person i.e "He's a total prick and smells of Turps and Felt Tips"
I think my sub-conscious was in the hope that I would have learnt some kind of lesson. But I'm going out tonight with pals and as time ticks on I'm not sure of the social lessons I should have learnt from these fever dreams.
I've just finished my brew, breakfast has formally ended sadly. Time to do some actual work on issue 2. Tell you what 400 Facts Fanciers Fraternity, I'll let you all know how I get on tonight and see if these dreams have any impact eh? They probably won't but I'll make some shit up and tie this altogether into coherence.
Ta-ra!
